My New Self
I have been trying to put my thoughts and feelings together for the last few weeks. They are a scattered mix of hope, grief, longing, deep gratitude and pain which I've come to expect with any great time of change. I could of never imagined the live I'm living even only a few short years ago. And it's exciting and wild and scary and I feel nervous about it. Because it's new, this life I'm living is all new. And it's not even about a new city or new community or even new people. It's about me, I'm new. This state I'm living in is new. My view on the world is new. It's fragile yet resilient. It's soft yet solid. It's mature yet naive. I remember back to my last few years, living in Central Wellington in intentional community and the fear and pain that drove my life. That deep, paralyzing fear of being not good enough, being rejected and alone. The pain from how I saw the world. I saw the world as unsafe, a place I didn't belong and th...